Behind the Scene - Taking Stock
I like to think of myself as a fairly reflective person in all facets of my life. Back when I was teaching, I can vividly remember modifying lessons from one class period to the next based on reading student reception to the methods and materials. As a coach, I recall making specific in-game adjustments in order to maximize our teams chances. In the moment reflections needed to maximize the opportunity. With both of these, I also remember sitting down at the end of a school year or the end of a season and looking back over the entirety of the experience to try to find themes or a key to pull away for the next year, something to focus on. At the end of my second year teaching, I was fortunate enough to attend some professional development that asked us to take stock of our grading practices. What were we actually assessing, what did our grades actually mean? I left that session as a changed teacher. That single session changed who I was as an educator. Sure I was on a certain path already, but this clarified for me what I was chasing in a way that I was unable to do prior to that day. I can draw so many parallels between that day as an educator and my visit to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in April 2022.
Like most of you, my life feels extremely busy. It's almost like each year is busier than the last. There are times my wife and I will look 6 weeks ahead to try to find an open weekend. When a busy work week leads into a busy weekend, even when the plans are fun, it can be hard to find the time to disconnect, slow down, and recharge. This trip came at a particularly busy time in my year and one where I was faced with challenges unlike those I had faced before. I needed a reset.
Prior to my trip to Great Smoky Mountains National Park, I would have said that I enjoy photography almost solely for the end product. The photograph, the creation of something new, was my purpose for practicing photography. I didn’t know it at the time, but this journey would make me think about this more deeply. I didn’t really plan it this way, but during the trip, I never “chased the light.” To be honest, I didn’t really have the energy for it, I just needed to slow down. Instead, I sat (or stood), in relative silence, only the sounds of nature. The image featured in this article is the perfect summation of what this trip meant. I stood at this spot for nearly an hour. Refining the composition some, but mostly just watching the river pass by. Watching the light on the distant trees come to life as the light poured into the valley around the bend. The light came to me as I slowed down and let it.
In the moment, I was reflecting on my images, the composition, the tweaks that were being made. As time has passed, my reflections have shifted from the details toward the big picture and trying to clarify my path forward. Photography, for me, is still about the end product. I love the feeling of “finishing” an image and “nailing it.” But I need more than that. I need the quiet, the peace, the chance to disconnect and slow down. My trip represents two leaps forward for me, the first is a significant (in my opinion) improvement in my photography, and second a deeper understanding of why photography is important for me in more ways than I would have ever thought. This trip clarified what I was chasing. “Illumination” is about the light catching the leaves in the distance, but for me, it is so much more.
This year I won’t be in the Smokies for the spring color, but the experience last year still pushes me forward. It encourages me to keep focusing on what I find most valuable about photography. The experience of disconnecting from the chaotic nature of daily life, seeking the quiet and stillness I only find in nature. Spring 2023 wasn’t the right time for a return trip, but soon I hope the time will be right as the rivers, trees, and mountains give me the space to pause and reflect again.
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